Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

First of all, I really don’t like going to strip clubs.

Being in a dark room with a naked girl dancing in front of me isn’t appealing anymore. It’s the sad realization that the girl is only messing with me for my money. I don’t know how some people can keep going back to be lied to like that.

Anyways, I ended up at a Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club with my homeboys Walter and Stephen. They’re usually there on Sundays cause it’s free happy hour drinks/food from 8pm to Midnight. I haven’t seen them for a while now and wanted to get out the house, so I tagged along with them.

The night started off decent. Kept knocking back Crown Apple + 7up, plus plenty of some citrus vodka shots. Homeboys also ate the in-house pizza (Although it was free, I didn’t trust it, plus carbs).

Kept drinking and started getting past the point of no return at some side bar. Then this one stripper “falls” into my lap. We go through the whole introduction process, I say I’m from The Bay and she’s from LA. She notices my SF Giants lanyard, and then she starts talking about the “Los Doyers” (Her words not mine). Now the conversation is back and forth banter bout our baseball rivalry and she seems to know her stuff too. Everything seems cool til we’re interrupted by the DJ calling her to the dance floor, so before she leaves she tells me her stripper name (not going to say it). I watch her go, and my homeboys come over to give me a pep talk bout getting at her (all really bad advice).

Me and my boys ordered more drinks, talked more shit to each other, and then out of nowhere she returns and my homeboys leave. We resumed our baseball talk, and then it moved into stuff we like. We’re taking turns “buying” drinks (tipping the bartender), and then she asks if I want to buy her a dance. I know she’s been working on me for that setup, and yeah I may have been drunk but it still wasn’t enough for me to give in and so I politely declined. She leaves again, and now it’s just me and my homeboys back to drinking.

After awhile, happy hour is over. The drinks we were ordering turned into their full price at $30 per, so we stopped. We’re getting ready to go, so I leave to take a piss, and coming out the bathroom, I see “Los Doyers”, and she’s bout to get on the dance floor. She sees me, grabs my arm, and asks me to watch. She’s going through all the dance motions, and I throw some 1’s at her. Afterwards, she sits on me, and begs for a lap dance. I’m hella drunk, and decided in my head “Meh, what’s another $20”.

She takes me to a back table and starts grinding on me hella hard, and then I stop her. Really, the only thing I wanted from her was to sit, chill, and just stare at her (She’s beautiful, and I’m drunk). She’s on me, and we’re just chilling… THEN out of nowhere she tells me her real name AND all the personal problems that she’s going through, and I mean spilling EVERYTHING to me.

She goes “Why can’t I make money as the other girls, is it because I’m ugly or something”, and then proceeds to point out at the different girls around and tells me how much each one makes a night… Then she’s starts crying and telling me her heroin problem! What the fuck?!?! Her crying goes from misty tears to full on ugly Niagara Falls type tears. It’s such a noticeable display that a random dude came over, and handed her some napkins, while looking at me like “Why you making her cry for?”. I’m just so glad he didn’t step in and try to play hero… I tried to comfort her the best I could but she tells me not to touch her. She then gets off of me and the DJ calls for her again to get on stage, I try to hand her my $20 and she refuses at first. I kept insisting, and eventually takes the money (reluctantly).

She starts dancing on stage, and another stripper joins her. She’s good at hiding the tears, and the her appearance/mood goes back to being like she was never crying but just “flirty” with other customers. After the song, she disappears, and her friend starts talking to me. I ask her friend to text her my number (she does). The friend leaves, my homeboys sit next to me asking if I’m ready to leave and before I say “yes” we get kicked out. It’s not because of me, it’s because one of my homeboys (who shall not be named) rubbed some girl’s cooter on another stage and she didn’t like that so she told security.

Honestly, I wouldn’t know what to do if she called me. Also I’m good off of strip clubs for awhile, even if there’s free alcohol/food. Only good thing I can mention is that I spent less than I did the last time I went to a strip club (see here). I spent $40 at hustler, and $10 at Dennys. Sunday had me feeling all types of weird.

31 Days Project – Day 5

If I don’t drink water then the temptations of eating food skyrockets to the breaking point. This morning when I woke up I wasn’t thirsty, so I decided to watch some TV. After watching a couple of shows I started to get hungry, and the hunger pangs jumped from mild almost to HUNGER GETS WHAT HUNGER WANTS! I then started thinking about warming up last nights dinner of rotisserie chicken, and eating it with those sweet Hawaiian bread rolls, then finishing it off with a cold glass of milk and some chewy chips ahoy. Then I remembered that we had combination pizza, actually we had 3 different styles of combination pizza. I was imagining I would start off with the rising crust pizza, then work my way to the thin crust, and finally finish off with eating the flatbread pizza.

In order for me to control these feelings I sat down and drank the entire 1 gallon water and was full. The hunger pangs died down and I was able to continue the day without any “interruptions”.

Oh and food dreams are becoming more ridiculous. I know I already wrote about me dreaming that I ate some food and waking up believing that I did but the intensity of it is climbing and it’s starting to become common that I dream those types of dream.

I have a little game for you guys. It involves one of the pizzas I was talking about earlier because that’s what my mom and dad decided to eat for dinner.

Everything you see here came out of the box, can you guess what's wrong here?
Can you guess what's wrong?

I’ve never seen anything like this before. I don’t even know how you can mess it up like this, but Digiorno pizza did screw it up, it’s still edible but it makes you wonder what went wrong in the factory. If you haven’t figured it out I’ll give ya another picture hint:

Here's a cloer look, do you see it now?
Here's a closer look, do you see it now?

If you haven’t gotten it by now there was an extra layer of cardboard. I’ll run through the layers for you starting at the bottom. It goes cardboard, crust, cardboard, sauce and toppings. Still don’t believe it? Here’s some pictures of the corrections being made.

Stripping the sauce/toppings off the cardboard layer.
Stripping the sauce/toppings off the cardboard layer.
Crust on the box still, and my mom peeling off the sauce/topping from the cardboard
Crust on the box still, and my mom peeling off the sauce/topping from the cardboard
Here is what it looked like assembled back together..
Here is what it looked like assembled back together..

When it came out it looked normal but how does a mess up like this pass inspection? Did anybody inspect it at all? My mom had me laughing because when she was blaming the store she bought it from.

Okay, and here are the rest of the pictures. I set it up like how I had it in the previous posts because for some reason they don’t allow you to do individual pictures and galleries in the same post so here is the pictures in their separate boarders.

I tried going to for up close Hulk eyes.
I tried going to for up close Hulk eyes.
Fish cakes in seimein
Fish cakes in top ramen
My mom making her seimein noodles.
My mom making her top ramen noodles.
My current weight as of this afternoon
My current weight as of this afternoon

Okay last thing before I go. I’m no longer going to post pictures on how much I weigh because I’m going to abandon my scale and use the scale at the gym, and I don’t want to take pictures inside a gym and get people all riled up. I’m deciding this because my scale at home is becoming hella inaccurate. That’s it and that’s all.