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In a Polynesian floor show you’re taken on a “tour” to the main islands in the South Pacific. While traveling to each island you’re given a brief history and then shown a dance (which usually tells a story).

This last floor show that I went to drifted hella far away from the South Pacific. First we started off in Tahiti, then made our to to Hawaii, New Zealand, and then our final stop in Kenya.

Yes, Kenya. I couldn’t believe it myself but they brought out the limbo world champion in a Polynesian floor show. It was awesome and awkward at the same time. Just have a look at the pics below.

I’ll give the guy credit cause he went below the limbo stick while it was on two beer bottles.

What I think was hella unacceptable was the extra tight pants he wearing because it hella made the outline of his dong stick out. I’m not gay but it was just one of those situations where no matter how hard you looked away, you could just see “it”. It’s like in the movie Watchmen, no matter hard you tried looking away from Dr. Manhattan’s dong, it was just there on the screen, unavoidable. The only way to NOT see it is if you closed your eyes.

He was also trying to do “sexy” moves while moving under the stick with his stomach rolling and air humping action. All that was unnecessary too but overall seeing someone do a real life stick limbo with the height of a beer bottle from the floor. Yeah, that’s pretty awesome.

Oh and that’s not all. The people running the floor show stopped in Kenya and that got my mom mad because they didn’t go to Samoa (which was disappointing because the people running the floor show was Samoan too). So she MADE them take a trip to Samoa and made my aunty grab a Samoan CD from the truck. Everything worked out nice because my mom told everyone what to do and helped the graduate dance. When everyone finally “got” what was going on they fully participated and started dancing with the graduate, and even threw money too.

My mom is freakkin’ awesome.

Lanu’s first game with team Demolition and it was a good one even though they lost. Well, technically they lost because the calls the refs were making was a whole lotta bullshiet. Anyways I took an assload of pictures and below are some shots of Lanu, and in the gallery you can find more.

Click here to go straight into the gallery.

Monday – Rest
Wednesday – Shoulders
Friday – Cardio (Punching Bag)

I need to step up my fucking game Monday with watching what I eat and doing extra exercises on non-hiit days.

Sorry, no pictures.

Monday – Rest
Wednesday – Biceps & Back
Friday – Cardio (Punching Bag!)

I’m hearing that Josh made a bet with Reno saying that Team HIIT can automatically win if the Samoan-Ninja returns to his high school weight before the reunion. I’m assuming Josh meant the lightest weight I was in high school, and that was 260 pounds.

Well let’s do some calculations…

I currently weigh 352.
260 is the goal to hit.
That’s 92 pounds to lose.
There’s 4 months left till July.
Breaking it down even further that’s 16 weeks left.
I’ll have to lose 6 pounds (rounded up) every week till the reunion.
I’ll do it.

Monday – Rest
Wednesday – Triceps & Chest
Friday – Cardio.. SPRINTS!

Monday was an extra rest day because working out our back from friday caused all of us to have extreme pain. The pain was so intense on sunday that no matter what sleeping position I tried to be in there was the feeling of pins and needles all over my upper and lower back. I took a trip to “La La Land” by downing some pain killers, and even through the pills knocked me out the  pain was still there.

Wednesday was back to back HIIT of Triceps and Chest. It’s a nice burning combination and workout. You see we wore out our Triceps first, so when we HIIT Chest, our Triceps stood by to watch while our Chest did all the work.

Friday (Today). Sprints at a park. After I was done with sprinting and was laying on the ground gasping for air there was a scene from the movie 300 that popped in my head.

-Spoiler Alert-
You know at the end of the movie where it boiled down to the few Spartans against the Persians. Where King Leonidas threw the spear at Xerxes and while he was doing that Dilios (The Narrator) said

“His helmet was stifling, it narrowed his vision. And he must see far. His shield was heavy. It threw him off balance. And his target is far away.”
-Spoiler Alert-

Yeah that entire scene played throughout my head while I was trying to recover. Maybe I “blacked” out again, haha. I’m still trying to figure out why the hell this scene popped in my head. All I can say is the pain came from everywhere. It was the legs, ass, abs, chest, arms, shoulders, back, and neck. No muscle group was spared. Everyone of them was worked out hard.

Oh and a we started up a tradition after doing our HIIT sessions where we get a football and starting playing catch BUT if you drop the ball you either do 5 push ups or 1 burpee. The game always starts off fun and relaxing, then it eventually turns into everyone throwing bullet passes to make the other person put in work.

Last but not least starting week 5 I’m going to start cardio on my non-hiit days. I’m just going to walk it at first but eventually I want to start running uphill. I would try to attempt running the whole thing but downhill hella fucks up my knees and shins. Damn price of being fat. The best place to go running is on a track at my local high school but it’s Track and Field season and it doesn’t end until April or May so I’ll just wait until then.

Monday – Leg Press Machine
Wednesday – Military Press (Shoulders)
Friday – Back & Cardio

I worked out my legs hella hard. So hard I almost passed out completely! Yup, after my entire set I was really nauseous and all I can see was bright white lights. Somewhere around my last set I “blacked” out because Jerry said I lowered the weights on the machine, but I don’t remember doing it.

We got came back around to shoulders and saw a lot of improvements with weights and reps! Since we already HIIT shoulders before the pain wasn’t as bad as it was the first time. Now we know what to expect as far as healing pains.

Back & Cardio went well. Back was never done before but was added because it is one of the major muscle groups. Cardio is mandatory and it was done of the elliptical. Somewhere down the road we’ll be doing less weightlifting and more cardio but that’s until we’re in great shape.

As far as what I need to do is tweak my diet and exercise program. I will continue to do HIIT but on our days off I will be doing cardio by myself. I’m not going to do a HIIT cardio because that’s going to be really taxing on my body and would probably interfere with the HIIT lifts.

I decided that the quickest way to get the fat melted off is to make my body go into Ketosis. So that means that I’m taking the low carb/low calorie approach and I’ll be doing it by limiting my carb intake to 50 grams a day and make sure I eat small portions.

All I can say is there was a lot of distractions in our 2nd week. First off I had my birthday so you know Team HIIT ate hella good. Then there was the injuries of Lanu’s groin, and both mine and Bear’s biceps. Last but not least the damn Super Bowl party where we ate freakin’ pizza and other junk!

Monday – ABs
Wednesday – Bicep & Chest
Friday – Back and Cardio (Canceled due to injuries)

This entire week would’ve been a MAJOR loss if we didn’t workout. Our biggest problem was checking our diet but how can we when there was a birthday AND a super bowl to celebrate?! Yeah I know we had injuries too but we could’ve stopped more damage if we watched the food intake.

Richmond, if you stuck to your diet and exercise then you may have won this week. So like the saying goes “You may have won the battle but not the war!”

Monday is a NEW week.
This last week is now in the PAST.
We’ve learned from OUR mistakes.
Gentlemen, we can be REBUILT.
We have the TECHNOLOGY.
This is going to be a GOOD week!